


Hurts So Bad

by a1_kitkat



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angry Sex, Angst, Barebacking, Day 3, Dubious Consent, M/M, No Lube, Not Beta Read, Post Episode: S01e07, Roswell New Mexico Week, Strained Friendships, Strained Relationships, rnm week 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 19:14:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19951423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a1_kitkat/pseuds/a1_kitkat
Summary: Max is hurting after putting Isobel in the pod; he takes his anger out on Michael





	Hurts So Bad

Max had never known what it was like to feel completely alone. His entire life had been entwined with Isobel; it didn’t matter how physically far apart they were, they could always feel the other. Watching her fade away was heartbreaking and seeing her inside the pod, in suspended animation was equally as painful. She was right there, he could see her with his own eyes but he couldn’t feel her, couldn’t sense her. It wasn’t a feeling he ever wanted to get used to.

He sat by her pod long after both Liz and Michael had left. He made promises he intended to keep, assured her that everything would be fine when deep down he feared it wouldn’t be.

Max was angry; angry at everyone and every thing he couldn’t control. He was mad that Liz had used her knowledge of him to make this deadly serum, he was mad at Isobel for injecting herself and he was mad at himself because this was all his fault.

The three of them had lived comfortable lives with this secret, something only the three of them knew. It was what linked them, what kept them together and the fact none of them had revealed the secret to anyone was what had kept them safe all this time... but Max had screwed up. He’d let his feelings for Liz take control and he’d saved her life. He’d trusted her when Michael and Isobel had told him not to. Now Isobel was dying and trapped in a pod.

He couldn’t stay here all night; festering in his own anger. He got to his feet and stumbled from the cave, covered over the entrance and made his way to his jeep. His entire body was numb, empty, alone.

Max turned the jeep onto the main road but he didn’t head for home. Instead he found himself driving towards the junkyard.

It was three in the morning but he could see the fire burning and the mop of curls as he stepped out of the jeep and moved towards him. At first he wondered if Michael was asleep for he hadn’t moved or said a word but as he made his way over to the fire, he saw the movement of Michael raising the beer in his hand up to his lips.

“Feel free to say I told you so” Max stated as he sank down in the chair opposite.

Michael looked up and met Max’s gaze but he simply sighed. Max saw how tired Michael looked and realized he probably appeared as exhausted.

“You look like crap” Michael snapped.

“I was about to say the same about you” Max replied. “You got another one of those?”

A bottle near Michael’s feet levitated off the ground and flew towards Max who snatched it up but still glared at Michael for using his powers outside despite it being the middle of the night and only the two of them present.

“Is this what it felt like for you?” Max asked him as he opened the bottle, took a sip.

“What felt like?” Michael asked.

“When Alex left”

“You’re seriously comparing Isobel dying in a pod to Alex joining the Air Force?”

“I’ve never lost a piece of myself before... not even when Liz left. I feel lost, wrong, broken”

“I mostly just felt angry”

“I’m sorry he left the way he did”

“Yeah well his dad was a dick and definitely wanted Alex to spend days, weeks, months at a time with a bunch of horny airmen”

Max let those words hang in the air between them. It was clear Michael was still slightly bitter and Alex being back in town after all these years probably wasn’t good for Michael’s headspace.

“I’m just so angry” Max admitted. “I did this to her, Michael. I let Liz get close to me and now Isobel is suffering”

“Isobel killed her sister, of course Liz wanted revenge”

“Liz isn’t a vengeful person”

“Tell that to Isobel... oh wait, you can’t”

Michael tossed his now empty bottle aside and got to his feet, started to stomp away so Max stood up too. He reached out and grabbed his arm, to stop him from walking away.

“You think this is easy for me?” Max snapped.

“Because this is always about you, isn’t it?” Michael shot back as he yanked his arm free.

“I came here for support, I should’ve known...” he trailed off.

Michael scoffed.

“Yeah, because _you_ need the comfort; _you_ need the support” he hissed “because you’re the only one pissed off by what Liz did”

“I’m angry, Michael”

“You think I’m not? Isobel should _be_ here. It’s not right”

“Liz was doing what she thought was best, a way to protect herself”

“Protect her from what? From you? From me?”

“We don’t know what’s wrong with Isobel... Why she did what she did and until we figure it out, Liz sees her as a threat to others”

“Oh do you even hear yourself, Max?” Michael practically shouted “three seconds ago Liz wasn’t a vengeful person and now she thinks Isobel is a threat?”

Max’s anger engulfed him; he didn’t even think, simply raised his fist and punched Michael. His hand smacked him square in the jaw, was so hard that Michael stumbled. When he looked up, their eyes met and there was an anger behind them. 

Michael launched himself at Max in retaliation but he was ready for him and deflected the first blow.

In that very moment, the ten years of bottled anger and resentment spilled forth between them. They both threw everything they had into each punch but neither sank so low as to use their abilities. No, this was just a good old fashioned punch up.

Michael was all over the place, his punches were quick while Max’s were more precise.

It didn’t take long for Max to have the upper hand; Michael went down almost too easily and Max pinned him between his thighs, hand around his throat. He leaned down to say something to him but no words came out. Both were panting, out of breath; both still filled with such anger. Beating each other didn’t seem to make either of them feel better.

Max rolled off Michael and lay in the dirt beside him. Their clothes were rumbled, Michael’s nose was bleeding and Max was certain he was going to have a black eye in the morning.

He climbed to his feet then offered a hand to Michael, to help him up but Michael shoved Max’s hand away and got up without assistance.

Back to Max, Michael started towards his airstream. Max didn’t want to be ignored; he needed to get his anger and frustration out. He started to follow Michael then he reached for him, spun him around and forcibly shoved his body against the outside of the airstream.

“Max, what the hell?” Michael hissed in anger.

Max didn’t say a word; they just stared into each other’s angry eyes for a beat until Max leaned in and kissed him. 

It wasn’t sweet, gentle or romantic. It was harsh, bruising, angry. He took Michael’s lip between his teeth and nipped at the skin.

Perhaps he was too surprised to react because Michael didn’t, not at first. When he finally did, he managed to get a hand between them and he shoved Max as hard as he could which only caused the other man to take a step back.

Once again they glared at each other.

Michael grabbed the front of Max’s shirt and pulled him in for another painful, bruising kiss. Max didn’t miss a beat and he shoved Michael back against the airstream again. Started pressing their bodies together and he almost laughed at the fact that Michael was already hard against him.

“You’re such a slut, Michael” Max hissed in his ear.

“You’re a fucking prude” Michael hissed right back.

Neither of them understood it but both knew they needed it. They were angry and just needed release. Max practically clawed at Michael’s pants, hastily shoved them down to his knees. He spun Michael around, once again shoving him against the metal of the airstream.

“Is that all you’ve got Max?” Michael hissed. “Not even a hint of foreplay?”

Max forced two fingers inside Michael who half grunted and half screamed at the pain of being worked open dry. He grit his teeth, squeezed his eyes shut and held perfectly still as Max finger fucked his ass.

It hurt but it was a different kind of pain than what he’d become used to in recent years. Physical pain he could cope and deal with.

“You trying to make it hurt?” Michael hissed “try harder, Max!”

“Shut up, Michael” Max barked through gritted teeth.

“Hurt me because you’re hurting; that’s how it’s always worked, isn’t it Max?”

Max grunted in anger and dropped his own pants. Michael could be as smug as he wanted, he’d never know the anger and pain Max was feeling through every inch of his body right now. He reached up, slapped his hand over Michael’s mouth to silence him then he guided his own barely hard cock between Michael’s cheeks.

They both groaned as Max painfully edged his way inside and began to thrust but no matter what he was thinking and feeling right now, his body wasn’t reacting the way it should.

He groaned in frustration, reached around and grasped Michael’s hard cock. Slightly jealous that Michael’s body was behaving, he started to pump his cock in time with his harsh thrusts. Michael continued to grit his teeth but Max couldn’t see the tears in his eyes. 

He pounded into him over and over until he felt something on his hand and he finally realized what his actions were doing to Michael. He froze and pulled his hand away, as though he’d been burned.

“Michael?” He gasped.

“Don’t stop” Michael sobbed “don’t stop; I need this!”

Max didn’t know what to do but Michael started thrusting into Max’s grasp, over and over until he began to lose it. His body shook as he came all over Max’s hand while tears silently rolled down his cheeks. Michael slumped against the airstream as Max took a horrified step back and tripped over his pants.

“I’m sorry, Michael” Max choked as he pulled his pants up and took another step back. “I’m sorry... I never meant... I’m sorry”

Max turned on his heel and ran back to his jeep. He could hear Michael calling out to him but he didn’t turn back. He’d come here to talk, for a distraction, because he was hurting and didn’t want to feel anything... now he just feel a million times worse because he’d hurt Michael now too.

Everyone he cared about, he inevitably hurt. He started the jeep, could see Michael watching him through tear filled eyes and he hurriedly backed the car away then he drove off but he didn’t go back to the cave, couldn’t bare to see Isobel in the pod. His hands were shaking, one still covered in Michael’s come and he forced himself to continue driving. He couldn’t go to the Crashdown, didn’t want Liz to see him like this. He couldn’t face Cameron either because she’d never understand.... No one would. He didn’t even know why he’d done what he did.

Michael hadn’t deserved to be treated like that. Their friendship, their relationship was strained enough without him doing something shitty like this. How would he ever make it up to him?

Max finally made it home where he stumbled out of the jeep and collapsed in the yard. His face buried in the dirt; he curled up in a ball, hugged his filthy hand to his chest and he sobbed. His entire body shook. 

The small voice in his head, that one he always listened to because it told him the harsh truth, promised him that he deserved to feel this pain... and he knew it was right. He did deserve it; he always deserved it.


End file.
